


and i've never put flowers by the street

by Mukunee



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, This Is Not A Happy Story Folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 11:53:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17022126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mukunee/pseuds/Mukunee
Summary: cities grow weeds, and cities grow.and cities keep secrets in the trees.-or-adora thinks about the past, and finds herself unable to cope.





	and i've never put flowers by the street

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! this was written to the new la dispure song (rose quartz / fulton street I). basically, i love how the show handles adora's abuse and i wanted to expand on it. also kinda a vent? i felt better after finishing it i guess.
> 
> hope you enjoy!!

Adora tries not to look back on her old life that often. It’s never beneficial- it only brings her down, brings her to her lowest point and pins her there. She knows it’s not a healthy thing to do, is aware of how hard it is to pull her out of the funk it puts her in.

And yet, she can never stop herself.

She’s lying in her bed, the plush, posh bed she’s learned to see as home, staring at the ceiling, thinking. Remembering. Imagining. Hearing and seeing. It’s late, later than she’s used to staying up, but she can’t find the strength to close her eyes.

Catra used to help her when she couldn’t sleep. It was why they started sleeping together in the first place: Adora needed help calming down, Catra needed physical contact to sleep. All it took was one cuddle for things to be alright again, no matter how traumatic the previous day had been.\

Adora wants to stay on Catra, keep her mind thinking about her, but there’s nothing she can do as Shadow Weaver pops into her train of thought. Just seeing her form, picturing the flow of her hair or the clenching of her fists is enough to send Adora into hysterics. 

There are a lot of moments Adora can remember vividly, but there is only one strong enough to send her into tears. Her and Catra had been playing, when without warning, Shadow Weaver burst in yelling and screaming about this and that. She moved towards Catra, Adora moved in between them. Her heart was beating out of her chest; she could hear the light thumping all the way in her skull. She tensed, as if ready to fight her off, only to be slapped to the side in an instant. 

The pain wasn’t bad. In fact, she can’t really remember the sting she could only assume came with the slap. She recalls the smack sound as she hit the floor, can feel the wet prick of tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. Catra recoiled, tried to back up until there was no space left to step, and Adora is powerless to do anything but watch as Shadow Weaver draws closer and closer to her until she’s right there, looming over her and getting ready to do something, something awful and horrible-

Adora closes her eyes. She isn’t sure where she is anymore, has to blink a few times to realize she’s still in Bright Moon, still in that comfortable bed and still alone. She has to take a moment to catch her breath, to slow her heartbeat, to wipe away the tears enough to see the darkness around her.

She can’t sleep now. She tries, but every time she closes her eyes all she can see is Shadow Weaver. Instead, she gets up and makes her way outside. The wind is cool and crisp against her skin; it feels refreshing. She’s cold, but she doesn’t care. Sitting down, she takes a lock of hair in between her fingers, rolling it around until she’s lost track of how long it’s been. 

“Adora?” She doesn’t respond, convinced the voice is coming from inside her head. “Adora, what are you doing?” It’s not until she feels a hand on her shoulder that she realizes it’s not, realizes there’s a real person that’s now sitting down next to her. 

It’s Glimmer. “I don’t know.” She’s seen what Shadow Weaver can do to her, knows what she’s like in her worst moments, so she feels fine being honest with her. “I can’t sleep. I started thinking about… Y’know, and it just messed with me, I guess.” For a moment, Glimmer is silent, motionless and cautious. Then Adora feels an arm wrap around her, and all of a sudden, she’s being pulled in close. “Are you okay?”

Adora isn’t sure. “Maybe.” Shadow Weaver is still etched into her mind. “I think I will be soon.” If Glimmer said anything, Adora didn’t hear her. She wasn’t in Bright Moon anymore- she was back in the Hoard, holding a sobbing Catra close to her. “I’m sorry.” Is all she can say, over and over again; sorry, sorry, sorry. Catra shakes her head, but is drowned out by Adora’s constant apologies. She thought she could protect her, thought she could keep her safe from everything Shadow Weaver had to offer, but she couldn’t. She was too weak.

“I’m sorry, Catra.” The loop continues. It feels endless, as if she’ll never speak any other string of words, until she feels hands gripping her shoulders. “I’m sorry.” She’s being shaken now, lightly moved back and forth. “I’m sorry.”

Adora opens her eyes, sees Glimmer looking at her with big, worried eyes. “Adora, I’m here. You’re here too, you’re not there anymore.” Adora wonders if Glimmer heard her call out Catra’s name. “If you stay out here any longer, you’re gonna catch a cold. Let’s go back inside; you can sleep with me.” 

Glimmer takes her inside, makes sure she’s nice and snug under her covers before crawling in next to her. Times like this make her wish that she could read minds, that she could get inside Adora’s head and understand her better. There’s nothing she wants more than to ask her everything about Catra, about Shadow Weaver and all the happenings between them. She hates herself for feeling jealous, for thinking about herself at a time like this. Hearing Adora say that stupid name makes her blood boil, knowing that she still cares so much about someone who hurt her so badly causes her to see red. “Good night, Adora.” 

Adora does not reply. Whether she’s asleep or not, Glimmer has no idea. She lays on her back, stares up at the ceiling, and waits patiently for morning to come.


End file.
